What a girlfriends’ trip reminded me about decisions, expectations, and staying open to change.
I just got back from a trip to Ireland with two of my longtime girlfriends. This was a trip we’ve talked about for more than a decade, but never really thought would happen. One friend has five kids, two in college. The other was forced to retire from her government job and, somehow, she became the glue that made it all come together. She planned the trip, plotted the itinerary, and told us what to book. We just showed up at the airport.
Lesson 1 – Sometimes you need to be the passenger.
Had my friend not taken the lead, we never would’ve gone. And it made for the BEST trip ever. She had all of the locations and hotels picked out. The trip worked because there were no expectations, so that meant no disappointments. We weren’t rushing to tick boxes. We took our time, caught up, and laughed. Everything felt easy.
A wise woman once told me, “Chris, sometimes you need to learn to be the passenger.” She was right. This trip reminded me how good it can feel to let go of control, say yes to someone else’s plan, and simply enjoy the view. It made for one of the best trips I’ve ever taken.
(Thanks, friend. You nailed it.)
Lesson 2 – Connect, listen, and stay open to change.
On Day 2, we went into a little souvenir shop in Kilkenny. The owner was a lovely little older man who asked where we were headed next. We told him: Waterford. He scrunched up his face and said, “Only your grandparents want that crap,” then told us to head to Kinsale instead. So we did.
And I can say it was probably the highlight of the trip for me. Ocean views, a magical sunset, and an unexpected memorial for the 343 firefighters lost on 9/11(which many of you know was a painful experience that I lived through first-hand). Each tree had a plaque with a firefighter’s name, photo, and firehouse. Families can come and remember their loved one in the most beautiful environment. Simply amazing!
Later, a security guard at Charles Fort recommended a spot away from the tourist crowds—a little place called The Spaniard. Fresh fish, local cider, and a bar inside a building from the Spanish Revolution. Once again, it ended up being a highlight.
The whole trip reminded me how much we gain when we pause to listen, connect with strangers, and stay open to course corrections. It’s something I want to keep practicing now that I’m home.
Lesson 3 – Expectations not being met can be a good thing!
I wanted to kiss the Blarney Stone. I pictured a rock in a field, maybe a short line, some tourists, and kissing a rock (that the locals supposedly urinate on). That’s not how it works.
The Blarney Stone is at the top of the Blarney Castle, which is in the middle of hundreds of acres of magnificent gardens. What I thought would be a 15-minute stop to kiss a rock ended up being hours of exploring the gardens and grounds, learning the history, climbing the castle, looking in every room, and learning about the 1800s castle-living lifestyle.
We watched people with canes maneuver the tiny, spiral stone staircases because it was on their bucket list to kiss the Blarney stone, which is at the top of the castle, suspended under an arch. When you get to the top, you have to lay on your back, grip two steel bars, and arch backward over the edge of the castle to reach the stone. There’s someone holding your waist to make sure you don’t fall.
It was NOTHING like what I expected… it was so much better! Who knows if the legend of the luck of the Blarney stone is real, but the adventure of finding it and experiencing something so new and unexpected was wonderful!
Lesson 4 – Just go
It’s so easy to find reasons (aka excuses) not to take the trip, not to make the time, not to change your routine. I had plenty: Work is busy. The year’s been stressful. My son had games I shouldn’t miss. It didn’t feel like the “right” time.
But I went anyway. And I came back feeling lighter, happier, and more grounded.
So here’s what I’ll say: book the trip. Take the call. Say yes. Even if it’s not perfect timing.
Just go.